ASDF

He woke up with a start. After hitting the shower he cooked his laptop and ate it. He liked it because he smothered it with ketchup.

It was a holiday so he thought he should go for a walk. He opened his bedroom window and jumped out of it.

He fell six stories to the ground. His legs were broken and bones were sticking out from his wounds.

The sun was shining and the birds were singing. The city was busy even though it was a holiday. People were staring at him as he walked towards the park. He left a trail of blood everywhere he went.

He bought an iPod from a nearby Apple Store for lunch. He wasn’t able to cook it so he just ate it as it was. He thought it was delicious and he was happy.

He didn’t have anything to do. So he just walked on until he got hit by a car. His broken legs turned into a pulp as heavy vehicles went over them.

He went home as the night fell.

For dinner, he baked his router. He drank a whole bottle of diesel and for dessert he had made a pudding with his keyboard.

He was happy.

photo by: Sean MacEntee

පූල් එක

අපි පූල් එක ගාවට ආවෙ අම්බානක් බීල. මං එවෙලෙ කුකුල් මස් කෑල්ලකුත් හප හප හිටියෙ.

“යමං“

මං තාම කල්පනා කරනවා.

“මේක ගැඹුරු නෑ ඕයි“

අනිත් එවුන් ටික ඇඳුම් ගලවන ගමන් කිව්ව.

මං කවදාවත් පීනල නෑ. තැපෑලෙන් පීනන හැටි ඉගෙනගත්ත හින්ද මට එච්චර බයක් තිබුණෙත් නෑ. ඒක නියම කෝස් එකක්. මට රත්තරන් පාට සෙටිෆිකට් එකකුත් ඒකෙන් හම්බවුනා.

ඉතින් මස් කටුව පැත්තකට විසි කරපු මං ඇඳුම් ටිකත් ගලවලා දාලා පූල් එකට පැන්න.

“ජබොහ්!“

+++

පැනපු ගමන් වටපිටාවෙ සද්ද ඔක්කොම එකපාරටම නැතිවුනා. මට දැනුණෙ වතුරෙන් මගේ කන් පිරෙන එක විතරයි. ඊටපස්සෙ මහා නිහඬතාවයක්.

සීතලයි.

මට පෙනුණෙ බොඳ වෙච්ච නිල් පාටක් විතරයි.

පූල් එක යට කිසිම දෙයක් කරගන්න බැරුව මං ඔහේ ඉන්නව.

ටිකක් දැඟලුවත් කිසිම දෙයක් වුනේ නෑ. පනින්න කලින් ගත්තු හුස්ම ඉවර වේගෙන ගිය හින්ද මං හුස්ම ගත්ත. ඒත් ඔක්සිජන් වෙනුවට වතුර.

“මං ගිලෙනව ඕයි!”

“ගැඹුරු නැති පූල් එකක? මල චාටර්! උඹව තියන්න වටින්නෙ නෑනෙ.”

“පලයන් යන්න #$%^&*“

මං තාම පූල් එකේ යට.

අනිත් එවුන් උඩ පීනනව මට පේනව. මං පූල් එකේ අඩියෙ හාන්සි වුනා.

“මට වෙරි බං“

විනාඩි දෙක තුනකට පස්සෙ මං මැරුණ.

අනිත් එවුන් මාව එළියට ගත්තෙ පැයකට විතර පස්සෙ.

උන්ට තද වෙලා.

“තොට පිස්සුද ඕයි පීනන්න දන්නෙ නැතුව පූල් වලට පනින්න?“

“උඹ නං වැඩක් නෑ බං. මෙච්චර පොඩි පූල් එකක ගිලිල මැරෙන්න? උඹේ යාලුවෙක් කියන්නත් ලැජ්ජයි!“

“දැන් ඉතින් මොනවද කරන්නද බං?“

“හ්ම් දැන් ඉතින් කරන්න දෙයක් නෑ.“

photo by: Ben Grogan

Untitled

It was another ordinary night. The walk up to their house was boring, as usual. The roads were pretty much empty. A few neon lights were flickering in the distance.

Even though it was a very hot day, the night was relatively cold. I stopped by the supermarket to buy a coca cola can and I kept on walking.

It took a while for me to get there on foot. I could’ve used a trishaw or a bus but I didn’t want to risk it.

The gate was closed but it wasn’t locked. Lucky for me no one was around. A few lights in the house were turned on.

I opened the door and went in. The guy was sitting in his room typing something on his computer. He looked surprised.

“Hey!”

I smiled and replied, “Hey, what’s up?”

I went inside the room before he could answer. As he tried to reply I shoved the knife into his throat. His eyes widened in disbelief as I pulled the knife out. Blood was pouring out of the wound.

He fell on the ground but he was unable to make any noise. My can of coke wasn’t over so I decided to finish it. He was writhing in pain clutching at his throat. I asked if he wanted a sip of coke. He didn’t say anything because he couldn’t.

I was bored. I decided to stomp on his nose. I heard a crack.

“I really should go now.”

I took my sawed-off shotgun out of the bag and shot him in the chest. After I made sure that he was dead, I decided to go for a beer.

I think beer tastes great. Some claim that beer tastes bitter, but I’ve never understood.

Rajadhani Express Review (Kandy – Colombo Intercity)

This is an old post. Please note that the information mentioned here may not be accurate anymore.

I love trains. I travel between Kandy and Colombo using Trains mainly because it’s more comfortable than those dreadful long distance buses. I can’t stand buses since they are cramped, crappy and smelly. I hate those new buses with really tiny windows and cramped seats and I despise air conditioned buses due to their crappy air conditioning, smelly curtains, lack of oxygen and general wildlife (Cockroaches) 🙄

So as a frequent passenger of the almighty train, I was excited to hear about the two luxury compartments that were introduced to the Kandy ICE: Rajadhani Express and Exporail. Priced at LKR 850 (Update: It’s 950 now) and LKR 1200 respectively, it’s quite expensive than the 2nd Class (LKR 220) and 1st Class Observation (LKR 360). Although I was excited, I wasn’t keen about spending that much for a train journey.

I purchased my Rajadhani Express ticket using Mobitel’s Ticket Reservation System (365). Mobitel currently handles the normal tickets and the Rajadhani tickets for Kandy/Colombo. According to their automated message, you can’t purchase Exporail tickets from them. The service charge was 144.50, which was higher than the ordinary service charge. I acquired my ticket from the Mobitel Kandy HQ.

First Impressions
It was good. There was wood everywhere. Air conditioning was perfect. The lighting was nice. The whole interior was clean and spotless. The ambiance was lovely.

Comfort
Leather Reclining seats. Very comfortable. There’s more than enough legroom and even if the front seat is in a fully reclined position, there would be a lot of room. Armrests are somewhat small and there are only 3 per two seats. 2 for the window side seat and 1 for the other. So you have to share the one in the middle. If the outer seat is moved, it loses one armrest.

Curtains move freely without an issue. There’s a lovely orange glow when sunlight hits them. There was something about the windows I really liked. Maybe they were too clean.

You also get Hot Towels when the train leaves the station 😀 (Update: Not anymore)

Facilities
The washroom was small, but it’s clean and has all the facilities you would need. Much better than the ordinary ones you usually see.

There are power sockets near all the seats. You can plug your laptop charger if you’re working. Sockets were 5A round pinned ones so if you have a charger with square pins, you’ll need an adapter. I was expecting two sockets but there was only one. So if your fellow passenger also has a laptop you would have to sort it out with a few rounds of bare-knuckle boxing.

Entertainment
There’s a large LCD TV. Items played on it vary. There was a documentary on Kataragama in the beginning. After it ended, there was Gods Must be Crazy II. After that ended, there were some Mr. Bean clips. The volume was inadequate after the documentary. But I would be unhappy if the speakers were blasting movies through the whole journey.

Food and Beverages
The usual baked stuff. Rolls, buns etc. Most people ordered Seeni Sambal buns. I think they microwave them before serving. I just got a cup of coffee for 50 bucks. They also have tea. There were menus on some of the seats. You can ask for one if you want.

They will setup a folding plastic table with a table cloth when your order something, so there’s no chance of spilling anything. Everything’s served properly on clean plates.

Food isn’t included in the ticket price on Rajadhani, but it’s included in Exporail afaik. You’ll get a bill when you’re near the destination.

Other Stuff
It was relatively quiet inside because the windows are all closed. I was expecting something like better suspension for a smoother ride but there wasn’t 😀 The staff is very friendly and you’ll be greeted with smiles most of the time, and I think it’s awesome. They will handle your bags once you’re inside the train and once the journey is over.

There were more people than I expected and almost all the seats were full.

The Rajadhani website (http://blueline.lk) is not good because it’s not functioning properly. Same goes to Exporail. There’s an online ticket booking facility on the Rajadhani site but it doesn’t seem to be working. I couldn’t even create an account there.

Conclusion
The facilities and the service is top notch and it’s very comfortable. Overall a nice experience. But at LKR 950 per journey, it’s just too expensive for someone like me.

An Update: As mentioned in some of the comments, I did experience an air conditioning failure once. Power generators kept failing on another occasion. I hope these issues are fixed now.

නමක් නැත.

Untitled

කිසි ගතියක් නෑ නෙව
කොළඹ හැටි වෙන්ටැ
මැරෙන්ට නං හිතක් නෑ
ඒත් කිසි ගතියක් නෑ
නිදිමතේ හිටියෙ දවල් වරුවෙම
දැන් නං නිදන්ට හිත නෑ

පින්ටූරෙ මගෙ ප්ලිකරයෙන්